Maybe our pal Carlito should rethink this whole retirement from football thing. His skills clearly don’t translate to other sports. If he ever tries to show off his jump shot, do yourself a favor and get out of the way.
(Spotted on 101 Great Goals.)
NFL American Football
26
Nov 09
Dr. House Makes The Inevitable Quip
I would love to find out just how many regular House viewers heard this joke and asked, “Who?” I mean, sure, we all knew, but what about all those muggles who don’t watch football? Were there a few more Google searches for Mike Tomlin this week? I wonder…
(Gracias, MJD.)
25
Nov 09
What Really Kills A Football Fan
Last week as Thierry Henry handed Ireland a crushing defeat — ha ha, see what I did there? — the Guardian’s Barry Glendenning told us, “It’s true what they say. Never mind the disappointment, it’s the hope that kills you.”
In the case of American football, I would propose a slightly different theory. It’s not the disappointment or the hope that kills you. It’s the stupidity.
Take, for example, these very elementary numbers, provided by our pal Darin Gantt. When Jake Delhomme is their starting quarterback, the Carolina Panthers are 46-8 when he throws less than 30 times in a game. They’re 13-32 when he throws 30 or more times in a game.
So on a Thursday night against Miami, when Panthers running backs are averaging 4.8 yards per carry — and that’s not including DeAngelo Williams’ 50-yard scamper — what do the Panthers do? They call 42 pass plays and 27 running plays. Oh, by the way, Delhomme was sacked four times on 3rd-down pass plays in that game.
You would think that in this economy, John Fox would want to keep his job. I guess he’s got a lot more cash saved up than I do.
Then there’s the Steelers’ special teams. Oh, the Steelers special teams…
As my buddy JJ Cooper points out, three of Pittsburgh’s four losses this season have featured major miscues on special teams. They allowed kick returns for touchdowns against Cincinnati and Kansas City, and Jeff Reed missed two field goals against Chicago. Reed also has developed a knack for being utterly useless on kick returns, which might be a small part of the reason the Steelers have given up four, count ‘em, four kick return TDs this season.
Amazingly, the Steelers shit-the-bed performance against the Chiefs — the Chiefs! — on Sunday didn’t cause them to loose any ground in the AFC North, because the Bengals gave up the ball twice in the 4th quarter and allowed the Raiders — the Raiders! — to score 10 points in the last minute of regulation.
And let’s not even talk about the Browns, who keep finding new ways to lose.
That’s what really kills you as a fan — watching your team do something stupid, and knowing in your gut that it didn’t have to be like that. Then again, we still hope that they’ll figure it out and get it right next week, don’t we?
20
Nov 09
BREAKING: Tampa, Baltimore Bolt USL For “New NASL?”
The boys at TheCup.us just alerted us to the news that two more clubs — the Tampa Bay Rowdies and Crystal Palace Baltimore — have broken ranks with USL and officially joined the new Team Owners Association league. For those of you keeping score at home, that gives the TOA a total of nine clubs — Atlanta, Baltimore, Carolina, Miami, Minnesota, Montreal, St. Louis, Tampa and Vancouver — and until expansion clubs are announced, it leaves both the first and second divisions of USL with only 7 clubs each.
As if that weren’t enough, there is speculation now that the TOA league will brand itself as the New North American Soccer League. Apparently, Miami FC somehow got its hands on the old NASL name and filed a trademark claim on it. Nothing like a little nostalgia to promote a brand new league.
There was some speculation that the Rowdies would be stuck in USL-1 for the 2010 season, but they had always sided with the TOA. Perhaps they had to strike a deal with USL to free them from whatever contractual obligations they had and make their inclusion in this new league official.
The addition of Crystal Palace Baltimore is a surprise here. That club was a prime candidate to move up to USL-1 after the TOA clubs bolted. That the Palace joined the TOA as well will give this new league some added flexibility. If for some reason one of the TOA clubs is unable to field a side for 2010, the TOA still has eight clubs that can play a full 28-game season. That might make it a lot harder for the US Soccer Federation to turn down this league’s application for Division II status.
It also makes it harder for USL to keep its bigger clubs in the fold over the long term. If the first season of this “New NASL” goes according to plan, clubs like Puerto Rico, Charleston and FC New York will have to have a serious look at their 2011 plans. I’m already envisioning Paul Kemsley, current owner of the New York Cosmos brand, selling that name to FC New York as the new club switches leagues. Who knew soccer’s past in America would end up being its future, too?
UPDATE (11/22): USL is now claiming that Tampa and Baltimore are still under contract to play in USL-1 for 2010. They’re threatening a lawsuit. Hoo boy…
20
Nov 09
Bethel College QB Holds On To His Gonads and Strife
O MY GOD ONE TIME I TOOK A SNAP TURNED AROUND AND THREW THE BALL OVER MY HEAD AND SAID WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Seriously, it’s more fun if you’re listening to this while watching that video.
(Spotted on The Sporting Blog.)