The latest battle in the Aussie Football Wars, however, won’t be fought over beers. Lost amidst the massive English and American bids for the 2018 World Cup is the fact that Australia would like to host FIFA’s big show, too, because soccer is growing down under, too.

And guess what? The AFL and NRL aren’t giving up their stadiums for your girl’s game. Oh, no.

See, unlike England and America, Australia has not one, but two major pro football leagues in season in June and July, and those leagues aren’t too keen on giving up some of their stadiums in the middle of the season. Sure, the World Cup might be the biggest sporting event on the planet and might bring unprecedented tourism dollars to Australia. That won’t stop the AFL and NRL from looking at it as a not only a huge shot in the arm to the competition, but a massive pain in the ass.

Perhaps if Football Federation Australia really wants to follow through on its darkhorse bid, it should start considering some new construction. Melbourne Cricket Ground can fit 100,000 people, but for a soccer game, they’ll all be about half a mile away from the action. Imagine paying the GDP of Slovenia for front row seats to the World Cup Final, only to find your view is partially obstructed by that bench 20 yards in front of you.

As much as I’d love to see the World Cup return to the States, I’m now hoping Australia does get it soon, if only to see just how ugly and bitter the Aussie Football Wars can get. I can’t wait to see the AFL devise ways to lure packs of Brazilians and Ivorians down to Docklands. “We’ll show ya some real footy, mates!” The resulting confusion alone might make for great television.

(Spotted on Pitch Invasion.)

Not if those bitter old bastards at NuRock have anything to say about it, apparently.

According to Canadian soccer blog The 24th Minute, the USSF held meetings with representatives from the USL and NASL, and the USL continued to insist that several NASL clubs were contractually obligated to play in the USL in 2010. One source claimed that the USL was “threatening to sue everyone at the table” if the NASL was certified.

In essence, a USL representative walked into the room and shouted, “BITCH BETTA HAVE MY MONEY!”

This should give you some idea of how much USL actually cares about soccer in America. It doesn’t. The people in charge of this show only want to get paid, and anyone who has any funny ideas of creating a league where club owners have some say in how the league works should be forced out of business for insubordination. These people would rather destroy second-division soccer in America than let any of these clubs be free to decide how they want their league to operate. That might give you some idea of how much money the USL was raking in from this “business model” of theirs.

This is bad news for several of the NASL’s breakaway clubs — especially Carolina, Miami and Minnesota, who led this charge in the first place. If the USSF decides not to certify the NASL, that would force several clubs reportedly under contract to play the 2010 USL-1 season. Several more would end up sitting out 2010 all together, either by choice or by USL lockout. That would undo all the good work the Carolina Railhawks did in putting a good team together last season, and it might force the Minnesota Thunder to shut its doors for good.

On the other hand, all this might do is delay the inevitable. Any clubs forced back into USL for 2010 would be certain to avoid any contractual obligations to USL in 2011. That might give the NASL the time it needs to ramp up properly and build a worthwhile league.

But would that be too late? This is a World Cup year, after all, which means more attention on soccer in America. What happens when potential fans look at what’s going on below MLS and find out just how much of a joke it really is?

USL isn’t thinking about what’s good for the game. It’s thinking about what’s good for its bank account, and we’re all starting to realize it always has. Enjoy that CREAM, fellas, and thanks for nothing.

UDPATE (12/09): USL has filed its first lawsuit, claiming the Rhinos, Rowdies and Crystal Palace Baltimore are in breach of contract. Clearly, they don’t care what anybody thinks of them anymore.

GROUP B: Argentina, Nigeria, South Korea, Greece

GROUP C: England, USA, Algeria, Slovenia

GROUP D: Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana

GROUP E: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon

GROUP F: Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia

GROUP G: Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast, Portugal

GROUP H: Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, Chile

My initial thoughts:

• I was fully expecting the USA to get the Group of Death after drawing England early, but it’s actually not bad. Slovenia will be tougher than we think — they did knock off Russia to get here, after all — but advancing to the knockout round does seem a little more possible than it did a few weeks ago.
• Group G is the Group of Death this year. Brazil, Ivory Coast & Portugal in one group? It’s enough to make you want to see Cristiano Ronaldo cry. Again. (Note from Brian Phillips of The Run of Play: “I really want to know how Group G is going to be written up in the North Korean state media.”)
• If Argentina fails to advance from Group B, the Church of Maradona will get torched. By its followers.
• Spain and Italy are stone cold locks to advance, and France will probably get through in spite of itself.

So there it is. We have six months to talk about this before it actually happens. What do you blog readers think of this?

Meet Nyrel Sevilla. He’s six years old, and he’s here to knock your sorry ass into next week, bitch. And unlike Ben Roethlisberger, he’ll never have any trouble playing with a concussion.

Here’s a quick glance at some other stories worth reading:

• The Saskatchewan Roughriders lost the Grey Cup when Montreal’s missed field goal was negated by Calgary having too many men on the field. Montreal made their second field goal attempt, and the quest is on to scapegoat the 13th man. [Canada.com]
• Hines Ward’s comments on concussions makes the Steelers look far worse than they’ve looked on the field lately. [The Sporting Blog]
• Merrill Hoge has a slightly different take on concussions. [NFL FanHouse]
• Premier League CEO Richard Scudamore wants to kick your filthy pirate ass off the Internet for using Justin.TV to watch Stoke v. Burnley. Don’t expect him to offer a legal alternative anytime soon. [Techdirt]
• Can legal gambling and football co-exist in the wake of match-fixing scandals? [Pitch Invasion]
• Grahame Jones lays into the FIFA executive committee, calls them “rogues and villains,” tells us nothing we didn’t already know and can’t really change. [L.A. Times]
• Lionel Messi wins the Ballon d’Or. Predicting the sunrise was tougher than predicting that. [The Offside]
• MLS will give commissioner Don Garber a sweet contract extension on one condition: he gets the new collective bargaining agreement done during the offseason. Any more grenades y’all wanna toss on that powderkeg, MLS owners? [WVHooligan]
• The Rochester Rhinos have bolted USL for the new NASL. This is rather big, and I will write more about it very soon. [Triangle Offense]

And since this site still has extensive links that cover football’s origins and evolution, here are a couple of interesting pieces about that.

• Aston Villa pays tribute to William McGregor, the Scotsman who came up with the idea of a “football league” back in 1886. I’d say that idea was a success. [BBC]
• Here’s another look back at the gridiron game a century ago, when nobody wore any padding and players were killed regularly. Hines Ward would have loved it. [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

Before this incident, Hull City had collected 27 points in 18 matches and were the surprise club of the Premier League season. In their last 20 matches, Hull managed only one win and 8 points in their last 20, and they only avoided an instant return to the Coca-Cola Championship because of Newcastle United’s general incompetence. So when Hull returned to Eastlands yesterday and Jimmy Bullard’s penalty leveled the score at 1-1… well, just watch…

Even Phil Brown couldn’t stop laughing. Well played, Mr. Bullard. Well played.

The halftime talk on the pitch was widely regarded as the beginning of Hull’s downward spiral last season. Could this bit of fun lift Hull out of the relegation battle? Either way, there needs to be some reason to watch Hull aside from wondering why Jozy Altidore doesn’t look like he’s doing much out there.

(Spotted on 101 Great Goals.)

Maybe our pal Carlito should rethink this whole retirement from football thing. His skills clearly don’t translate to other sports. If he ever tries to show off his jump shot, do yourself a favor and get out of the way.

(Spotted on 101 Great Goals.)

As if that weren’t enough, there is speculation now that the TOA league will brand itself as the New North American Soccer League. Apparently, Miami FC somehow got its hands on the old NASL name and filed a trademark claim on it. Nothing like a little nostalgia to promote a brand new league.

There was some speculation that the Rowdies would be stuck in USL-1 for the 2010 season, but they had always sided with the TOA. Perhaps they had to strike a deal with USL to free them from whatever contractual obligations they had and make their inclusion in this new league official.

The addition of Crystal Palace Baltimore is a surprise here. That club was a prime candidate to move up to USL-1 after the TOA clubs bolted. That the Palace joined the TOA as well will give this new league some added flexibility. If for some reason one of the TOA clubs is unable to field a side for 2010, the TOA still has eight clubs that can play a full 28-game season. That might make it a lot harder for the US Soccer Federation to turn down this league’s application for Division II status.

It also makes it harder for USL to keep its bigger clubs in the fold over the long term. If the first season of this “New NASL” goes according to plan, clubs like Puerto Rico, Charleston and FC New York will have to have a serious look at their 2011 plans. I’m already envisioning Paul Kemsley, current owner of the New York Cosmos brand, selling that name to FC New York as the new club switches leagues. Who knew soccer’s past in America would end up being its future, too?

UPDATE (11/22): USL is now claiming that Tampa and Baltimore are still under contract to play in USL-1 for 2010. They’re threatening a lawsuit. Hoo boy…

Then, this happens…

That’s Daniel Nardiello, a Blackpool striker on loan at Bury, watching his certain goal roll to a halt a few inches from glory. What’s even worse about this is that they were playing at Gigg Lane, Bury’s home ground. So much for home field advantage.

You know where that would have been a goal? On any pitch in Major League Soccer. Yes. Perhaps Mr. Nardiello should ply his trade in America. We could use the strikers.

(Spotted on 101 Great Goals.)